The first new Simpsons episode of 2008 finds Ralph Wiggum running for president. What? Here's a recap of the episode "The E Pluribus Wiggum" written by Michael Price.

Chalkboard gag: Teacher did not pay too much for her condo


Couch gag:
 ACT ONE
At the power plant. Lenny, Karl, and Homer watch Burns waiting for him to leave, but Burns is busy talking with a mail room guy. So Homer calls the mail room guy and says he has his wife hostage, or if he doesn't have a wife his brother. He makes the mail room guy dance like a prospector, before remembering that he wants him to leave Burns alone -- so he tells him to leave, but kicking like a Rockette. The plan works and Burns leaves.
Homer calls Marge on his way home, she reminds him that its the first of the month, when he said he'd start his new diet. Homer then heads to all the fast food restaurants to get his last unhealthy meal before the diet.
With his car full of junk food, he pulls up to a talking drive-up trash can --
Homer: A drive-up trash can, this must be how the rich toss out their gold.
-- and empties the junk along with other things into the trash can: cups, newspapers, bottles, tricycle, lawn chair, uncashed checks, and a battery. The battery leaks into the trash and burns a hole in the gas main pipe. Homer lights a Jerk-Ass Homer cigar and tosses the match into the trash, causing multiple explosions.
Mayor Quimby holds a press conference for "Fast-Food Boulevard 1972 - 2008."
Mayor: There, there Cheesy MacMayor, not one likes weepy meat.
Homer can't stand to see "a grown hamburger cry" and wants to rebuild the fast-food district. To raise money they'll need a bond issue. The issue will be a part of their next election --the Presidential Primary, but since that's in June Quimby moves it up to next Tuesday -- pushing the presidential primary ahead of even New Hampshire.
New Hampshire -- Dan Rather interviews some locals about the presidential candidates.
Dan Rather: As the day of the primary nears this race is as wide open as a hobo's mouth a pie flinging contest. What do you New Hampshirites think of the current crop of presidential candidates?
Old man: Well Mr. Rather, the way I see it, as father always said, the way I always look at it--
His producer hears about Springfield so all the news vans leave.
The two locals Rather interviewed turned out to be bandits, who hold up the cashier.
Old man: Nice knitting on these masks, Martha
Martha: Now that you've said my name, I have to kill him.
ACT TWO
Kent Brockman asks Moe about voting.
Brockman: With Springfield's primary now first in the nation, our humble city is overrun with candidates, newshounds, spindoctors, hacks, flacks, Russerts, Blitzers, and even the occasional voter. Sir do you have a preference?
Moe: Yeah, I like girls. Fruit loop.
Brockman: Are you a registered voter?
Moe: I'm a registered -- something...
Homer turns off the TV, excited about the politics.
Homer: Come on Marge, it's primary fever, catch it!
Marge: That's what you said about yellow fever and that was no fun.
Lisa likes it as well, it makes her feel like a pundit in a think tank. Homer imagines what a think tank is -- and actually gets it right to the family's surprise.

All the reporters gather at Moes for some drinks. One asks for internet, so Moe rips out the phone cord and stuffs it in the guy's laptop's socket. Jon Stewart is outside of Springfield Elementary to tape his show. Krusty meets him and talks to him about the primary, trying to fish jokes from him. Inside, Dan Rather and other news analysts gather to talk about the primary -- Andrea Crowley from CNN, Demount Evans from Slate.com, and Ron LaHarr, a print journalist from the Washington Post.
Nelson (pointing to Ron): Ha-ha! Your medium is dying.

Residence Inn -- Homer is a member of a focus group and easily influenced by the negative attack-ad, which links a candidate to a terrorist because they both had articles about them in the same newspaper. Lenny and Karl disagree about the commercial, but agree at the same time.
The democratic candidates debate at Springfield Elementary talking about quintile disparity. Lisa is frustrated that the democrats can't win with another "prissy brainiac."
Brockman: Thank you Senator Winnergale.
Senator: That's Whinner-girl.

All the house on the block have signs up for different candidates. President Clinton even puts up signs for Hillary.
Clinton: Honey, how many more of these signs am I going to have to put up?... 25 more? What did I ever do to you to deserve this?... Pfft! You're never going to let that go, are you?
The Simpsons have an undecided sign outside their house, which attracts a zoo of reporters. All the candidates pander to them for photo shoots. Homer kicks them out.

Homer: You too Fred Thompson.
Fred Thompson: But I was in Die Hard.
Homer: Pfft! Die Hard II.

Back at Moe's -- Homer and the gang complain about the candidates and the news crew. Homer suggests they pick the most ridiculous candidate and write him in.
Apu: You mean Dennis Kucinich?
Homer suggests someone else...
Kent Brockman reports that Springfield chose Ralph Wiggum -- and he's the new front runner!

ACT THREE
Lisa and Marge watch a news talk show, where the hosts debate about Ralph Wiggum. The female analyst mentions Ralph as being the master of the sound byte. On immigration reform: "Stranger Danger;" his stance on government spending: "I only this much moneys. " Lisa is shocked that they're taking Ralph's candidacy seriously. Marge tells Lisa that this "Wiggum-aroll" will blow over, she needs to have faith in the average voter. Homer and Bart come in wearing Ralph Wiggum supporter shirts. Bart and Homer tell her to get on the bandwagon. Lisa points out that Ralph is "the dumbest person in the lowest reading group" and that in the constitution the president has to be 35, but Homer points out that the Patriot Act effectively killed the constitution.

At the Republican Party headquarters, Mr. Burns announces they'll support Wiggum. At Trader Earth's the Democratic party meets to discuss their candidate. They want to put Ralph on their ticket, too.

The news crews outside of the Wiggum's, where both parties try to sway Ralph. Lisa still can't believe this is going on. She runs in the house and defends him from the Republicans and Democrats. She tells him that both parties want to use him, but he suggests he might want to use them...
Ralph: Use them to make this country great again. When we're mad we'll just use our words, then the rest of the world will just play nice with us. And the only boom-booms will be in our pants.

And the show ends with a Democratic and Republican commercial for Ralph:
Announcer: Compassionate, Tough, Curious -- These are all words that Ralph Wiggum doesn't know. But he doesn't need to know them, he lives them everyday.
Lenny: I'm voting Ralph for President; his easy smile makes me think that everything is okay, even when I know it ain't.
President Clinton: I'm voting for Ralph too, but don't tell you know who...
Announcer: On November 4th vote for the latest in a long line of great American leaders...
Ralph (Sitting on the statue of Lincoln at the Lincoln Memorial): I want a tricycle, and a dog who won't chew my Hot Wheels, and a brighter future for America! I'm Ralph Wiggum and I've been a good boy!

All in all it was a hilariously smart episode, with lots of sharp commentary on the primaries and great cameos that didn't overrun the episode. Plus any episode with Ralph Wiggum is a classic. The 19th Season is definitely shaping up to be one of the show's best in a long time.